Current mood:	disappointed
Current music:	Easy Target - Blink182

She's Got a Mission in Uncollateral Damage
I'm still not sure I can believe the conversation I had with Kristin tonight. It almost felt like I was talking to a different person, it certainly did not seem like her at all.

The entire time I have known her, Kristin's never really been one to talk about things like sex life and the like. Before tonight, I always thought she was really quiet and reserved about it. I wasn't naive enough to believe she hadn't done it, but I figured she was monogamous at the least. I also figured aside from a few issues she had herself together more or less.

Wow, was I ever off.

She's telling me all these things tonight. Apparently, she needs sex constantly, and will stay in bad relationships just for it. She considers herself a bit of a slave to it, if you will. That's not a bad thing necessarily (to some guys, that'd be great, I'm sure). But then she started talking about how she was never content with her boyfriends, and always cheating on them. Anyone who knows me knows how much disdain I have for cheating in relationships, so obviously I wasn't happy to hear that.

What happened next though, was creepy. Kristin, in all seriousness, asked me to slap her and beat her up when I see her tomorrow, "because she's a bad person and cheats." I would never, ever, EVER do something like that. Why would anyone even ask for such a thing? I'm kind of wondering about her sanity at this point.

A few minutes later however, she lapses back into this...well, attention whor-ish mode. She starts talking about these guys she's in class with that she's talking to, and seeing if they are interested. But when she finds out they are, she tells them she's got a boyfriend. According to her, she just wants flirtation and attention.

That pisses me off in several ways. For one, she's toying with the guys she's talking with, being a total cocktease. If she knew for sure they wanted her, she'd be on them in a heartbeat. But b/c they don't tell her straight up (and how many people would, given that she admits to having a b/f?), she plays this stupid game. Meanwhile, she does all this while she stays together with the boyfriend. At this point, he's only there as a toy for her to fuck, basically. She doesn't want to be with him, she wants something new constantly. I called her out on that tonight, and her response?

"No, I'm not using anyone. These guys are cute!"

what the fuck is that?

To me, this seems like both a lack of mental stability and a need for attention. That's what she wants most. But to me it's just disappointing. Like I said, I know she's had some problems before, but I didn't think this was the type of person Kristin was. I could never, and would never want to, be with someone like her in a relationship. Mind you, I'm not saying it's bad that she doesn't want to be committed, to each their own. But the using and the cheating...I don't think I can even be friends with someone like that. It saddens me to see someone I was at least somewhat interested in for the better part of this school year, turn out to be, for lack of a better word, a skank?

I don't think there's much of a future between Kristin and I, as friends even. I don't like people with her values. She's welcome to do what she wants, but I don't want a part of the life of someone like her.

It's a shame it has come to this. It seems like a lot of people in my life have disappointed me through the first 1/3rd of this year. I'm starting to get used to it though. Too bad that's not a good thing.