Current mood:	confused
Current music:	Trigun's Theme

Advice Desparately Needed
A Tomcat Forever: the story of my life.
A Tomcat Forever: guys dig me
A Tomcat Forever: girls? no dice. :-P
Kristin: lol
Kristin: you just need to be attracted to the right person
A Tomcat Forever: I need it to be reciprocated by the right person.
A Tomcat Forever: I tend to be attracted to women who end up being nuts
Kristin: lol
A Tomcat Forever: Their lack of interest in me aside
Kristin: when is the last time you dated someone?
A Tomcat Forever: it's been a year
Kristin: was it serious?
A Tomcat Forever: Well, she thought it was more serious than I did.
A Tomcat Forever: I didn't feel is was, esp, when we didn't go out for that long.
Kristin: where did you meet?
A Tomcat Forever: at a bar
A Tomcat Forever: I was underage at the time. x.x
Kristin: have you dated anyone from school?
A Tomcat Forever: nope
Kristin: any reason?
A Tomcat Forever: No one's been interested. *shrug*
A Tomcat Forever: like I said before, there arent many women I'm interested in. and of those that I am, they're taken or not interested back
A Tomcat Forever: i can count on one hand the number of women i've really been interested in in college
A Tomcat Forever: at loyola, i mean.
Kristin: wow
Kristin: you are picky
A Tomcat Forever: not so much picky as lacking in confidence.
A Tomcat Forever: I think a lot of women are well beyond what I could be able to get
A Tomcat Forever: So I limit myself, out of the belief, misguided or not, that I wouldn't stand a chance with many of 'em.
Kristin: you never know if you dont try
A Tomcat Forever: I know, I've lived with lots of regrets, lol.
A Tomcat Forever: The few times I have tried however, it's ended up badly.
A Tomcat Forever: Even with women like Klaudia.
Kristin: no regrets, regrets are bad
A Tomcat Forever: Tho in Klaudia's case, I think it was definitely for the bets nothing happened there...
Kristin: yeah she doesnt seem like your type
A Tomcat Forever: I just wish she'd have been honest with me.
A Tomcat Forever: I know she's not attracted to me, but she used like all these other excuses to not date me.
A Tomcat Forever: I only asked once, but even that one time.
Kristin: ohh i know those, its hard in that situation though
A Tomcat Forever: It's just annoying. like tonight, for example. Promise to keep a secret?
Kristin: yes

A Tomcat Forever: (DISCUSSION OF SECRET W/KLAUDIA)

Kristin: wow you two are that close to discuss all that stuff?
A Tomcat Forever: It's hard for me to tell
A Tomcat Forever: She's close with all her guy friends
A Tomcat Forever: Moreso than you'd expect someone who's "just friends" to be
A Tomcat Forever: A lot of people have confused Klaudia and I as a couple.
Kristin: yeah i guess
Kristin: i tell people stuff but i draw the line to a certain point, i dont think most people would care
A Tomcat Forever: Maybe part of my problem is I find people's lives fascinating. So I like hearing about really close stuff, I like building up friendships like that
A Tomcat Forever: But with someone like Klaudia I don't know if 'm a close friend or just a so-so friend.
Kristin: yeah but with you at least in my opinion you are a great listener but then i feel like i share too much cause you dont share much back
A Tomcat Forever: it's just that I don't have a ton to share back, lol.
Kristin: oh ok
Kristin: i always thought i shared too much so i should shut up
A Tomcat Forever: Nah, not at all.
A Tomcat Forever: Maybe it's my lack of interesting things to talk about that limits me.
Kristin: im just as interested in your life as you are in mine, you can share anything
A Tomcat Forever: I know you are. I just don't know what to share, lol. I mean, if you ask anything, I can answer it.
Kristin: yeah i guess but i dont remember this was months ago i thought this
A Tomcat Forever: lol
A Tomcat Forever: Well, if you think of anything, at anytime, 'd be happy to share. :-)
Kristin: lol just share something random
A Tomcat Forever: lol. I have no idea. Ask something random!
Kristin: it can be like the question game yet im bad at coming up with questions
A Tomcat Forever: so am I, lol.
Kristin: is there anything you want to know? everything is fair game
A Tomcat Forever: lol. I don't know. You tell me plenty of stuff.
Kristin: uhh i dont know then
Kristin: see i told you i say too much
A Tomcat Forever: :-P
A Tomcat Forever: You ask me something then!
A Tomcat Forever: What's the diff if I ask you when I'm already the listener? :-P
Kristin: i cant think of anything at the moment
Kristin: lol but then i can turn it around and ask you something or the same thing
A Tomcat Forever: lol.
A Tomcat Forever: Fine, lemme think.
A Tomcat Forever: Ever cheat in any of your relationships
A Tomcat Forever: ?
Kristin: yes i have but not like slept with someone cheat, how about you?
A Tomcat Forever: Nope, never cheated.
A Tomcat Forever: I did almost leave my long-time girlfriend at one point
A Tomcat Forever: Actually I did break up with her for a month
A Tomcat Forever: It was freshman year
A Tomcat Forever: And there was this girl named Hannah I was really into. Nothing ended up happening though, so we got back together
Kristin: see my issue is that i want the newness and the fun stuff in the beginning so sometimes i get distracted with some guy who only wants a fling
Kristin: i know its bad
A Tomcat Forever: *shrug* people are people. judging never helps anything
A Tomcat Forever: I can't do the fling thing though. The relationship aspect is just too important. I mean, I don't mind dating a while first, but I won't get serious with someone until it's officially a relationship
Kristin: right, but i believe when im truly happy in a relationship i wont look for anything else which is the truth b/c the guy i dated for like a year and a half my fresh and soph year, i never looked once, i thought i was happy
Kristin: i couldnt do the fling thing either until last year when i was so heart broken it just happened in order to get over that guy
A Tomcat Forever: rebounds are common
A Tomcat Forever: I was pretty upset when I broke up with the woman I was dating for 2 1/2 years. I gave a lot of my time to her, and nothing really happened. It was pretty depressing
Kristin: yeah im not proud of that time of my life
Kristin: but its not like i got drunk and slept with everything that walked by
A Tomcat Forever: yea
Kristin: but im not a big fling person either
A Tomcat Forever: Well, I mean, what qualifies as "fling"?
Kristin: i guess like the whole "random play" thing or just go out with no intention of getting serious
A Tomcat Forever: Yea...I just can't do that. :-(
Kristin: thats not a bad thing
Kristin: i regret it
A Tomcat Forever: It'd be nice to do something, at least. I mean, I hate being single
Kristin: i guess but you just end up hurt cause it goes nowhere
A Tomcat Forever: not that things went much better for me when in relationships, lol..
Kristin: if you could go out with anyone who would it be?
A Tomcat Forever: anyone in school, or anyone, anywhere?
Kristin: anyone i guess
A Tomcat Forever: good question, lol\
Kristin: lol
A Tomcat Forever: Problem is, there's different aspects of diff. women that I'd want in a girlfriend.
Kristin: like what?
A Tomcat Forever: There's this one girl I work with, named Beki, for example. She and I get along great, I think she does wonderful things, smart, good work ethic, funny. But shes pentecostal, and she gets pretty serious about that, and I'm not religious, so that wouldn't work out.
Kristin: but is she interested too?
Kristin: religion can be worked out
A Tomcat Forever: I don't think so.
A Tomcat Forever: She's not interested, I mean.
A Tomcat Forever: b/c of the religious aspect
Kristin: oh ok
A Tomcat Forever: Klaudia's like that too
A Tomcat Forever: She and I have a lot of common interests
A Tomcat Forever: and she's very affectionate, which is something I have never had in a relationship
A Tomcat Forever: But like you said, she and I are not a good match.
Kristin: she just seems so forward and you are more shy
A Tomcat Forever: I am incredibly shy.
A Tomcat Forever: It wouldn't hurt me to date someone who is forward, actually.
A Tomcat Forever: I could use to be a little more forward, lol.
Kristin: yeah but she would overpower you and you would just rely on her too much
A Tomcat Forever: I'm a huge touchy-feely, hug and cuddle type of guy. But I'm too shy often, and I don't want to make an unwanted gesture sorta move
A Tomcat Forever: So people never realize it
A Tomcat Forever: Even Klaudia...it took her 6 months to even hug me.
Kristin: yeah some people are the hug type, i can be with certain people, it depends but i wouldnt do it first
A Tomcat Forever: Neither will I.
Kristin: my family never hugs or anything
A Tomcat Forever: My family does, all the time, lol.
A Tomcat Forever: Well, my mom anyway.
Kristin: not mine, so it takes me awhile to warm up to it
A Tomcat Forever: yea
Kristin: did you like anyone in our organizational class?
A Tomcat Forever: Well, Faith was in that class briefly but I wasn't really into her back then.
Kristin: oh yeah she sat next to me
A Tomcat Forever: Otherwise, I don't think so. There were some cool people in it, and some people who became friends, but no one else I really wanted to date.
Kristin: yeah and i dont really know anyone to set you up with
A Tomcat Forever: I have no luck, haha.
Kristin: well i dont know many people unfortunately
A Tomcat Forever: it's all good.
A Tomcat Forever: I'm not big on blind dates anyway
Kristin: lol yeah i understand
Kristin: in summer though you will have a brand new pool of people
A Tomcat Forever: On the job? x.x
Kristin: well through the job
Kristin: oh and ill be 21 and ill need someone to take me out maybe you will meet someone there
Kristin: maybe ill be looking for someone too
A Tomcat Forever: that is true. but you have someone. well, at the moment I mean, lol.
Kristin: yeah but even if im with him still, you and i can still hang out
A Tomcat Forever: Good. :-)
A Tomcat Forever: Yeah, we should go out for your b-day
A Tomcat Forever: It doesn't have to be a huge night of drinking
A Tomcat Forever: Just hanging somewhere is fun, too.
Kristin: good cause i cant drink much
A Tomcat Forever: lol.
A Tomcat Forever: In time. :-P
A Tomcat Forever: jk
Kristin: lol
Kristin: so you can take advantage of me and have a fling
A Tomcat Forever: haha.
Kristin: thats what you want im sure
A Tomcat Forever: rofl, that would be the stereotypical guy, wouldn't it?
Kristin: yeah but if you were like that you would have made a move months ago
A Tomcat Forever: I don't think I could ever take advantage of a woman, honestly.
A Tomcat Forever: I'd feel so bad
A Tomcat Forever: you know, that's it.
Kristin: i know
A Tomcat Forever: You know what I want in a woman? Someone I wouldn't need to take advantage of, she just wants ot be with me. :-)
Kristin: lol you just need to go for somoene
Kristin: you never know what will happen until you try
Kristin: ive learned they dont have to be overly attractive, your personalities just have to sync
A Tomcat Forever: You're absolutely right. I wish more women thought like that, lol.
Kristin: i had one of my best relationships with someone that wasnt hot he was just cute or average
A Tomcat Forever: I've only dated one woman who would be called even that much.
A Tomcat Forever: well, maybe 2...
Kristin: you just like ugly people?
A Tomcat Forever: no, i try to go off personality. and part of it has been like I said, I just never think I'm good enough. Lacking confidence doesn't help. :-P
Kristin: that always happens to me cause i will like someone and hint about it and flirt but it wont go anywhere cause they are scared
A Tomcat Forever: Maybe they don't see the hints? I can tell you from experience, guys are pretty bad at observing things like that.
Kristin: i guess so
A Tomcat Forever: well, it's hard
A Tomcat Forever: b/c like, you second guess yourself
A Tomcat Forever: you wonder if it's a hint or just something you're seeing that's not really there
Kristin: i guess so, i feel like that sometimes too but im a girl so i just wait and then move on if it doesnt come
A Tomcat Forever: It's things like that, that lead to regrets. for me, anyway
Kristin: whats your biggest regret?
A Tomcat Forever: just that. the wanting to ask out, but not having the confidence, and second guessing myself to the point it becomes too late.
Kristin: well it may not be too late unless the person is married
Kristin: sometimes you just have to be honest and tell the person even if it is too late
A Tomcat Forever: lol. if it's too late what's the point of telling the person?
Kristin: cause it may not be too late cause they might not be happy or i dont kno
Kristin: know
A Tomcat Forever: you may just have a valid point there.
A Tomcat Forever: You ever regret that a guy you wanted to have ask you out, didn't?
Kristin: yeah, i think sometimes i get my hopes up and act interested and the guy does too but it never goes anywhere
Kristin: i think the whole dating this is so confusing, i never know whats going on
A Tomcat Forever: I feel the exact same way.
Kristin: i just want to find someone that i can be goofy with and have fun even if it is just a friend, i want someone who will be around for the occasional movie or dinner or something
A Tomcat Forever: well you can have that in both friends and boyfriends.
Kristin: i know but i came down here searching for something that i still havent found
A Tomcat Forever: Do you know what it is you're searching for?
Kristin: not really, i guess the comfort i had with the group of friends before they all betrayed me would be nice or just the happiness i once had with no real cares because i was happy
A Tomcat Forever: I understand..
A Tomcat Forever: and you deserve that opportunity
Kristin: its not like the people are bad here, i just havent found my niche
A Tomcat Forever: it's hard to, esp. at a new school.
A Tomcat Forever: new state, etc.
Kristin: right
Kristin: well i think its bed time, im sure ive distracted you long enough from your work
A Tomcat Forever: A welcome distraction, at that. :-P
A Tomcat Forever: hey, when do you have class tomorrow?
Kristin: from 10:30 til 2:15 then at night if i go
A Tomcat Forever: Ah. what about friday?
Kristin: im going home for some meetings and then work
A Tomcat Forever: Ahh. n/m then, lol.
Kristin: well next week could work possibly or do you need me before friday?
A Tomcat Forever: one sec.
A Tomcat Forever: I just wondered if you wanted to have lunch one of those days. I understand though, you've got a lot of stuff going on. I wouldn't want to stop you from like, meetings and stuff.
Kristin: i just have home stuff to do fridays through sundays but otherwise im free other than classes, we'll talk next week and set some time aside
A Tomcat Forever: yep, sounds good.
Kristin: k ttyl
A Tomcat Forever: yep bye
Kristin: bye

OK, I thought I was over everything with Kristin. She's got a boyfriend now, and I was settled to moving on. But then this IM conversation (the one in the cut) happened tonight, and now I'm not sure what to do.

Things I'm wondering:

Does she know I was interested in her?
Does she want me to tell her I am now?
Is she interested in me?

I've talked to several people and got several diff. reactions. So now I want your reactions, folks. What do you think I should do? Right now I'm leaning toward telling her about my feelings at lunch next week. But is this just a trap? I'm so confused. Damn mind games.

Also, for the record, Kristin knows I have lj but does not have a journal herself. She also knows I write about her, so she can check the entry at her convenience.

Advice needed. Badly. HELP!